Rugby league and music have, at best, a complicated relationship.
Subtract the odd Tina Turner banger and you’re left with not much more than that Puff Daddy song from the Godzilla movie you got tricked into going to see in High School and Spudd Carroll murdering Wild Thing on the Footy Show.
Perhaps the area of the game that best reflects this strained relationship is that of team songs.
Unlike the AFL where it’s deemed completely appropriate for adults to march around belting out bastardised Broadway show tunes and go completely berserk in the comments section of the Herald Sun when they re-record their club song and chuck in an extra bassoon or something, club songs in the NRL are very much an after thought.
One could only shake their head and laugh when at the 2014 Grand Final South Sydney took the field to the haunting strains of ‘Glory, Glory to South Sydney,’ only for the Bulldogs to follow soon after with the inexplicable crap-tastic Baha Men Blue Light disco classic ‘Who let the dogs out?’ (Answer: Des Hasler probably).
It is with this disparity in mind that I’ve decided to take a deep dive into the Interwebs to bring you the good, the bad and the…well, more bad of NRL Club Songs you might not know existed.
Gold Coast Titans
Umm…hmm. Being a resident on the Gold Coast and a thoroughly apologetic Titans fan attending games on a fairly regular basis I can’t ever claim to remember hearing this song, let alone knowing the words. Look I guess it’s not terrible it’s just, well, I listened to it 30 seconds ago and I can’t remember anything about it. It’s like the airport sandwich of club songs, it fills a hole without providing any sort of sustenance or enjoyment.
‘Hey Rocky 3, do you mind if we steal your epic Survivor training montage soundtrack and sticky tape the words Wests Tigers over the top like Mr Black at Kamp Krusty?’
‘Yeh ok, just try not to make it too obvious.’
Verdict: Lawsuit inducing
When you consider that the Storm are the ultimate professional football team and have music royalty in Molly Meldrum as their #1 supporter, you’d probably expect a pretty decent ditty for Craig Bellamy’s henchmen to run out to.
And, you be thoroughly disappointed. This thing goes for about three minutes too long and Cam Smith should be made an Immortal asap just for listening to this garbage a couple of hundred times without grapple-tackling the sound system at AAMI Park.
Verdict: The Olympic Park in-goals of club songs
When Newtown were booted out of the comp the game lost a significant part of it’s history.
Sure, the Jets nee Bluebags might have been decidedly mediocre for large chunks of their existence, but what about this tune?!
It’s an absolute banger, only problem is that it doesn’t go for long enough. Rent yourself a copy of The Final Winter, pour yourself a cold hard glass of KB and get around it.
Verdict: A treasured classic
Nth QLD Cowboys
How do the Cowboys like to get down after a big win up North?
By belting out over the loudspeakers an obscure, impossibly camp disco number from the early 80s, that’s how!
Words can’t really do this one justice, it’s different, but in all the best ways.
Verdict: A God damn masterpiece