Whether you’re laid up on the couch on leave without pay, or working from home with the Sky racing on in the background here’s a set of topically themed omen bets to keep you entertained through your Saturday afternoon.
Saturday 11th April, 2020
Race 1: Much Much Better- How Boris Johnston tweeted he was feeling this morning.
Race 2: Never Listen- What Boomers say about Millennial Backpackers.
Race 3: Great Danger- What you’re in if you’ve been hanging out with Millennial Backpackers.
Race 4: Time is Precious- Actually it’s not any more. I’ve got loads of it at the moment.
Race 6: Shout the Bar- What I’d be happy to do if they re-opened my local next week.
Race 8: Verry Elleegant- How my Mrs thinks she looks sitting on the couch in her Activewear at midday drinking cask wine.
Race 9: Sweet Deal- What the long term unemployed had to say about Sco-Mo’s economic stimulus.
Race 4: Aunty- Have you rung and checked she’s got plenty of toilet paper?
Race 3: Havazac- Be surprised if I have one in my betting account by the time this is over.
Race 4: Straight Home- What you do of an arvo now instead of going to the pub.
Race 6: Keep Me Posted- Said the boss when he told me to pack up my desk a fortnight ago.
Race 5: Lobster Noodles- Quite often my dinner on a Saturday night after a bad afternoon on the punt. Sadly, Coles have been sold out of these for three weeks.
Race 8: Hang Man- Excellent phone app you can play whilst on a Zoom work conference.
Race 3: Beachgoer- That’ll cost you $1300.
Race 4: General Maintenance- What I probably should be doing around the house instead of taking a quaddie in four states every day.
Race 5: Secret Way- How I used to get home from the pub, now it’s how I sneak to the shops for ‘non-essential’ items.
Race 6: Time for Tea- What I say to the Mrs now at about 5.30pm.
Race 4: Counter Meal- What I wouldn’t give for a Parma and a Pint.
Race 1: Seclude- Should be pretty safe in the seclusion of my man cave for eight or nine hours on Saturday arvo.
Race 2: Flewshot- If only it was that simple.
Race 5: Golfing- The one thing you’re still allowed to do by the government, but sadly not by my Mrs.
Race 7: Clear the Debt- Good luck with that one Sco-Mo and Co.
Race 4: Pale Ale- On my 3rd carton already this week.
Race 6: On the Turps- Me at midday when I’m ‘working from home’.
Race 7: Yadreamin- What the Mrs tells me when I’ve been on the turps since midday.