Winter Warmers – 5 Things To Do On Saturday If…

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Saturday 22nd June signals the Winter Solstice. A date I always mark in my calendar as “Mother-in-Law’s Day”. Short, cold and miserable.

The midwinter point, which should serve as a steadfast reminder to Punters of what to expect in the weeks to come. 2nd rate cattle, wet tracks that won’t dry out, leading to tracks chopping out, track bias, which all told generally leads to obscene form reversals and something ruining your quaddie at long double-figure odds.

Now, for the seasoned punters amongst us it means it’s the time of year to go wide with your numbers, it means keeping a good eye on the Bom weather site throughout the week for the main racing venues, and it’s advisable to not load up until you see how the track is playing. All good advice, but after a run of three or four weeks where you either jag the quaddie but have gone that wide you have next to no percentage, or you get knocked out by one of the aforementioned mules at 25/1 who is 10 year old and hasn’t won a race for over a year (sorry Destiny’s Kiss), one starts to grow a little weary, if not wary, of the art of the punt, and one often considers hanging up the form guide for a few months until Spring has sprung.

Sensible? Now, now. Before we make any rash decisions, let us take a look at the top 5 list of alternative activities.

1- Take the better half out for lunch on Saturday?

Pros:

  • Will score you brownie points for the upcoming feature Saturday’s in the Spring especially for getting out of that wedding you have been invited to on Derby Day.

Cons:

  • Stop kidding yourself. You’re no hope of getting out of that wedding on Derby Day!

Alternatives:

  • Stick with it mate. Study hard, best result is you jag a fat six figure quaddie for 5%, then shout your Mrs a few days holiday in Melbourne… in early November.

2- Mow the Lawn?

Pros:

  • The grass doesn’t actually grow in winter unless you’ve specifically selected cool season hybrids for this exact purpose. Which is highly unlikely. So, all told you should be done in halfa max.

Cons:

  • You’ll be bored stupid for the rest of the afternoon and after you’ve missed the first half of the program where you would have jagged the early quaddie you’ll end up chasing the last running double in each of the four states or play the quaddie at Belmont where you’ll stand Pikey out in the last and he’ll get rolled at odds on.

Alternatives:

  • Stick with it mate. Keep playing those wide numbers and hopefully you’ll get a result big enough you can put synthetic grass down in the backyard and never have to mow the lawn again.

3- Work on your Summer Beach Body?

Pros:

  • Staying in shape over winter is a great idea and might get you a bit more action away from the man cave in the love nest.

Cons:

  • Don’t be silly. That’s why you built the man cave in the first place. Besides, according to Vogue Magazine June edition, Dad bods are in for Summer 2019/20.

Alternatives:

  • Stick with it mate. Switch to mid strength, and thin and crispy pizza, keep working those wide quadrella’s, if all else fails, black is slimming.

4- Offer to babysit the kids and let the Misso have a day out?

Pros:

  • Great maths practice for the kids, converting fractions to decimal odds, calculating 7x5x6x4 for your quaddie or for the really advanced, trying to solve the problem of the cost of a roving banker.

Cons:

  • Next thing the kids will be biting you for an advance on their pocket money come Saturday morning.

Alternatives:

  • Stick with it mate. You just need that one result. Then give the kids as much pocket money as they like provided they bugger off between midday and 5pm and are someone else’s problem.

5- Just watch the races and don’t have a bet?

Pros: None.

Cons: Whilst drinking a Carlton Zero? C’mon, seriously!

Alternatives-

  • Stick with it! Tread with caution over the cooler months, particularly in that void between the Caloundra Cup Day at the Sunshine Coast and the Sir John Monash Stakes at Caulfield. If you do have a few lazy dollars spare in the cunning kick, consider a few ‘speckys’ for the Spring features. And if you do happen to lob that fat winter quaddie, remember the good advice form your old mate Rob, and buy me a frothy next time you see me trackside. Cheers!

What do you think?